I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
