Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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