wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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