They should really pass out barf bags in church
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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