ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
