Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
