I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
