I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
