he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
