Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
