So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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