so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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