did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
