Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
