like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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