Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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