id be glad to
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
