Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
