i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
