Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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