1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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