I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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