yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
