At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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