are you still at the devil's house?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
