he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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