Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
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Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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