The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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