She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
