Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize