he puts the penis in happiness.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I want a musical about memes.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
And then he peed in my hair
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