so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I am spending my child support on dildos
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
