conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
