Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
