id be glad to
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
