Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
