I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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