3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
