Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize