Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
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So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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