hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
