Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The beer is more important than you right now.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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