Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
