My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
