I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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