i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
