8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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