I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
