mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
