when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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