is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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