You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
