Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
