you turned your livingroom into a bong?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
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At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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