Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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