last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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