And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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