our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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