If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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