Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
